Concerned About Your Kid?
We all wish our kids came with a manual. From bedtimes to outbursts, homework to high school, parents face new situations daily. Parenting books and experts offer quick fixes that sound good ... until you try them with your kid.
The problem? There are hidden roots below your kid's struggles and behavior issues, and parents aren't equipped to address them.
Discover the roots of your kids' behavior issues and struggles by taking our Child Concern Index (CCI), a powerful assessment tool. Upon completion you'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation and our eye-opening companion book, "What's Really Causing My Kid's Bad Behavior?"
Learn More About CCI
Our patented Child Concern Index (CCI) will evaluate your situation as well as the behavior and struggles you are encountering with your kids. The CCI will guide you toward the best path forward for you and your kids based on your unique situation. In just 7 minutes this free assessment will return a custom 10- to 20-page report that will help you understand what’s really going on with your kid, and practical next steps you can take right away to see improvements.
Its insights and answers will have you wondering why we’re not charging for it when other providers charge $50 to $200 for theirs. As a bonus you'll also receive our illuminating and eye-opening book, "What's Really Causing My Kid's Bad Behavior."
Together the CCI and Book will help you identify the roots of your concerns with your child.
Take Our Free Child Concern Index
Our patented One Rule Home Child Concern Index (CCI) is like an MRI scan – it reveals the real roots of your child’s problems by evaluating your situation, along with the behaviors and struggles you’re encountering with your child.
So, how does this Child Concern Index work? It’s a powerful online assessment engine that costs you nothing. It takes just 10 to 12 minutes to complete and returns a concern index with recommendations along with a personalized 15 - 20 page report that will help you understand the specific roots underlying your individual child’s challenges.
When you complete the Child Concern Index, you’ll get instant access to the belief-shifting insights in Jeff’s book "What's Really Causing My Kid's Bad Behavior?". The CCI and book are based upon Jeff Schadt’s 20 years of experience helping parents target the roots below their kids' struggles and behavior issues as well as his research with 3,000 kids. All to help you target the roots in your kid’s life rather than whacking away at the surface leading to frustration and concern like it did for Jeff.
Combined the CCI and "What's Really Causing My Kid's Bad Behavior?" will be like turning on a light in a dark room allowing you to get past the unknown so you can determine how much concern, if any, you should have and what you can do to help your child. (In fact the CCI is so detailed, you’ll wonder why we don’t bill you the $60 to $200 other providers charge for similar assessments.)
Your Concerns Are So Common Today:
But there is hope! Our research with over 3,000 kids and teens has helped us crack the code to address your concerns. Click on the concern you're dealing with to discover our paradigm-shifting perspective for each one.
Disrespect
It’s a terrible feeling to be disrespected by a child you love! You lay down your life for them everyday, and are met with eye rolls, back talk, the silent treatment, or worse. It’s natural to wonder if there is any hope when we are at odds with our kids and what we’re doing doesn’t seem to work. If they are like this at age 7, 9, or 11, what will they be like when they are 13?
There is hope given the answers we discovered during our research. Our research found that disrespect typically stems from roots that are often below our kid’s consciousness. How can that be? Psychology has proven that only 5% of thoughts and emotions are conscious. Thus the common roots underneath their disrespectful behavior are often not truly understood by our kids. What are the common roots according to our research?
- Unresolved issues in the the relationship that they have never brought up and have stuffed.
- This generation of kids' need for community, connection, and fairness.
- Negative core beliefs that make them sensitive / reactive to the way we interact with them.
- A misunderstanding of the nature of respect itself that has permeated the whole family.
The answer lies in what we found by integrating our research with 3,000 kids with psychological studies and the leadership style of Jesus, which was radically different from that of the world. This led to the development of a new way to approach and lead our kids that results in kids wanting to involve you in their lives.
If you’d like to learn how to target the roots underneath your kids’ behavior consider our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort and then schedule a call with myself, Jeff Schadt, or another coach to get your questions about your situation answered. On the call we’ll help you better understand why targeting the roots is vital with today’s kids.
If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.
Outbursts (Anger/Tears)
When our kids react with anger or tears, it hurts. We care and love them more than they know but they don’t seem to believe us anymore. Outbursts destroy happy homes as we isolate ourselves to avoid the pain conflict brings. If you are dealing with outright anger, angry or despondent tears and are losing hope, don’t give up.
Our research found that these outcomes stem from three sources not often discussed in parenting circles.
- Unresolved issues and hurt
- Negative core beliefs
- Fight-or-flight responses
The good news is these issues that cause our kids to react and break down are entirely fixable. According to studies, only 5% of our kid's thoughts and emotions are conscious. It is likely your kid's outbursts are being driven by the 95% of thoughts and emotions that are unconscious, leading to frustration with themselves, because they can not figure out what’s going on either.
As parents, we have not been equipped to help our kids target the issues that underlie their bad behavior and struggles. If you're looking for answers that work, you’re in the right place. Please explore our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort that equips parents to target the issues underlying their kid's troubling outbursts. What you learn will change how you see your kids and give you the insights and ability to help your child.
To discover if the Leading With Love Coaching Cohort will work for your situation, take our Child Concern Index. Upon completion, you'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation, with guidance on next steps.
If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.
Lying and Hiding
Perhaps nothing concerns us more than when our kids begin to lie and hide things from us. We ask questions of ourselves like:
- Am I doing something wrong?
- Why won't he or she be honest with me?
- Why aren't they learning from their mistake?
- What else are they hiding?
Sadly we found this is far more common than we expected. Our research found that 70 to 90% of kids ages 9 and up lead some form of hidden or dual life. They knew what to do and say to keep their parents happy but had figured out that if they could hide their real thoughts, actions, or mistakes from their parents, they avoided the fallout that occurred in the relationship with their parents.
Why was this so important that it caused them to lie? Our research found kids wanted to please and feel close to their parents like they did when they were younger. This desire was so strong it led many to hide things and lie. Why? Their need and dependence upon thier parents, along with an often hidden desire to please them, were much stronger than the parents in our research could believe, given the issues in their kid's life. They so wanted their parents to be happy with them that they felt compelled to hide things and lie to try to get close to their parents again.
This is just one of the reasons why changing how we approach kids and their shortcomings is vital if we want them to remain close and be open and honest with us. If you sense your kids are growing more distant and you're losing influence in their lives, or your kids are younger and you want to avoid these outcomes altogether, check out our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort.
If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.
Motivation Issues
You love your kids and want to help them succeed. When they struggle with motivation and follow through, it's difficult to know what to do. The more we remind them and apply pressure the more they resist us and our involvement leading to frustration and concerning behavior.
You know your kid has the ability but they either won’t or aren’t able to put in the effort to accomplish what they are capable of. Pressure related to homework, studying, and grades often leads to avoidance, defensiveness, or conflict, which our research found demotivates our kids.
Our work with kids who have motivation issues found that their lack of effort often stemmed from three underlying sources that work together to damage their potential. When these things combine, it can lead to depression.
- The realities of the oppositional adolescent brain
- Negative core beliefs held deep within our child
- Depression
Changes that occur in adolescent brain activity result in an oppositional response pattern emerging in our kids that may seem disrespectful or rebellious, but are not deliberate or their fault. Understanding these changes and adjusting our tactics can make a world of difference and help them learn to adapt to the change they do not know occurred as well.
Negative core beliefs rob our kids of confidence, often leading to resignation and a tricky unconscious decision to not even try. By not trying they avoid feelings of not being good enough and failure because if “I don’t try it and fail, it doesn’t reflect upon me because I did not try!” The kids we work with are stunned to realize they have unconsciously made such a counterproductive decision.
Depression is hard to understand if you haven’t experienced it. Our natural response is to remind, nag, or pressure which we’ve found makes things worse. Because the root cause of depression is being unhappy with or angry at oneself, our reminders, nagging and pressure serve to make them more negative about themselves. This is the reason we need to target the unconscious roots underneath their annoying behaviors.
Addressing these issues requires looking beyond the frustrating lack of effort to the internal reasons our kids have given up and turn to other escapes to validate themselves, rather than getting the work done that will help them succeed. As parents, we have not been trained to target the roots of issues below our kid's behavior and struggles. We can help. Please explore our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort to better understand what is going on within your child and the ways we can help you be the answer to your kid's motivation issues.
To discover if the Leading With Love Coaching Cohort will work for your situation, take our Child Concern Index (CCI). Upon completion, you'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation, with guidance on next steps.
If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.
Sibling Conflict
Nothing will destroy enjoying our families more than being stuck between kids who just can’t get along. It can cause a sense of dread every day because we are just waiting for something to go wrong:
- Endless bickering
- Negative comments that lead to reactions
- Getting physical with each other
There are tools we teach to address sibling conflict that will make a real difference, but they do not fix the underlying problem. The real problem stems from a breakdown of their relationship, trust, and the sense of belonging siblings should have.
Our research and work with thousands of families has helped us identify the common roots that lie underneath our kids' disdain for each other. Understanding what’s happening below the surface is essential to restoring the relationship, trust, and care between your kids. These include:
- Perceived favoritism
- Negative core beliefs
- Unresolved issues in the relationship
- Fight-or-flight regulation issues
To understand how to best address this issue, take our Child Concern Index (CCI). Upon completion, you'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation with recommendations on next steps given your situation's seriousness. Then explore our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort because 75% of parents who participate are able to enjoy their kids again and see their kids' behavior turn around without the need of a counselor.
If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.
Depression
As parents, we are not equipped to help a child struggling with depression. Despite all our love, care, and concern, parents with depressed kids often tell us that everything they try to do seems to discourage or frustrate their kids and make things worse. If this is where you find yourself, you’re not alone, and it’s not your fault. Unless you have personally struggled with and overcome depression, it’s unrealistic to expect you to understand how to help your kid. The tools to do so are often the exact opposite of our natural instincts. A recent CDC study found that 2 out of 3 adolescent girls and 2 out of 5 boys struggled with deep sadness/depression.
We are intimately familiar with depression, having faced it and overcome it in ourselves and our children. We understand how depression creates significant challenges for parents. The root cause of depression, beyond the serotonin imbalance in the brain, is being deeply unhappy or angry with oneself. While your child may seem to resist everything you bring to them, it often does not mean they are dismissing you or their responsibilities. Often it means they are down on themselves for falling short. Can you see your kids' frustration, unhappiness, or anger with themselves?
To understand how to best address this issue, take our Child Concern Index (CCI). Upon completion, you'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation with recommendations on next steps given your situation's seriousness. Then explore our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort because 75% of parents who participate are able to enjoy their kids again and see their kids behavior turn around without the need of a counselor.
If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.
Anxiety/ADD/ADHD
Sometimes the fears, anxiety, and/or phobias our kids have just don't make sense to us. This can lead to saying the wrong things, only exacerbating the situation. We love our kids and want to help them, but how? We see the challenges, anxiety, and attention issues in our kid’s life and want to help so much, but the behavior that often accompanies these issues is so hard to handle.
Anxiety at its core is fear, often driven by unconscious thoughts and feelings deep within our kids, which is why they are so hard to address. Common factors that contribute to anxiety include fight-or-flight regulation issues and/or negative core beliefs that cause deep internal self-doubt. Parents can be the answer to their kid's anxiety and attention issues but it requires a different set of tools and approaches. If your kid suffers from Anxiety, ADD, or ADHD, it is important to realize that the symptoms of these things are virtually identical to those of fight or flight nervous system regulation issues. If regulation issues are at the root of these issues, there are ways for your kid to recover and heal that do not rely upon medication and the short and long-term side effects these medications carry.
If you would like to understand how to best address this issue, take our Child Concern Index (CCI) (Link to CCI). Upon completion, you'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation with recommendations on next steps given your situation's seriousness. Then explore our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort because 75% of parents who participate are able to enjoy their kids again and see their kids behavior turn around without the need of a counselor.
If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.
Imagine Enjoying Being A Family
Maybe it seems like a stretch right now, but we’ve seen enough families heal that we know what God can do. So, take a moment to dream with us – beyond just fixing your kids.
Instead of crises and fight-or-flight responses, you’re talking together, enjoying Friday pizza-and-movie night, playing frisbee in the backyard, and chatting and laughing together while talking about things that really matter.
Amazingly, this isn’t just your dream: It’s your kid’s dream, too!
Even if it doesn't seem like it, our research with 3,000 kids found that every child, preteen and teen wanted to be close to their parents – but they didn’t know how to get there. And, we’ll let you into another secret: it’s these internal desires that will be the greatest tools for change when you learn to lead with love.
Enjoy Time With Your Children Again
Over 75% of the parents who participate in our Leading with Love Coaching package are able to see their kids turn around without a counselor.
Leading With Love Coaching Cohort
Experience the joy of seeing your kids make huge strides as we guide you through a learning and practical implementation process that will:
- Draw your kids closer to you
- Target the roots in your kids lives
- Lead to inside out change that lasts
During this 20-week program, you’ll spend an hour-and-a-half a week with a coach who will apply what you’ve been learning to your specific situation and guide you as you address the roots of your child's struggles and behavior issues in 3 phases.
Phase 1: Leading with Love Foundation Coaching
We have not been taught to target the roots below our kids' behavior. Join a small group of parents facing similar issues and allow Jeff Schadt or another certified coach to help you turn things around. Your coach will answer your questions, discuss your situation, and provide direct insights for reaching your kids in weekly 90 minute zooms. In a safe, positive environment parents learn from each other and begin to encourage and support one another, often developing lifelong friendships, on their journey to becoming a One Rule Home.
Phase 2: Leading with Love: Changing Your Kids From the Inside Out Course
Our groundbreaking, engaging and fun course uses stories, animations, and interactive exercises to help you target the roots of what’s really causing your kid’s bad behavior, in a way that will engage your mind, warm your heart and prepare you to Lead with Love.
Phase 3: Leading with Love Implementation Coaching
It’s one thing to take a course, It’s another to make it work at home with real kids. We get that. Which is why in phase 3 we walk with you through an implementation process that will draw your kids back to you and motivate them to participate in transforming your family into a loving caring home.
Money Back Guarantee
Our Leading with Love Cohort carries a No Family Left Behind Double Guarantee.
No Family Left Behind Double Guarantee
Guarantee #1: Try it for free! Get to the end of session 6 in Phase 2 of our Leading With Love coaching package and decide this is not for you -- no problem! We'll buy back your investment in full, no questions asked.
Guarantee #2: Earn credit towards individual coaching! If you complete the Leading With Love Coaching Cohort and find someone in your family needs more help we'll credit half of your original investment towards our personalized mentoring and healing process.
I’m Jeff Schadt, Author of One Rule Home
I’ve been in your shoes: My daughter wasn’t even 9, but she was struggling – and the books and podcasts I looked to for answers didn’t help one bit. So, I spent 20 years conducting qualitative research with over 3,000 kids (and earned a Master's degree to boot) just to crack the code.
What I discovered was absolutely profound, and it changed everything with my nine-year-old and my three other kids!
Hear more through Jeff's media apperances:
Sounds too good to be true? Let's Talk
Schedule a call with me or one of our coaches. If you don’t find the call enlightening and helpful, we’ll send you a $10 cash card. We’re that confident that the call will offer you some hope.
Jeff Schadt Founder, Author and Senior Coach
Jeff started seeking answers in 2005, resulting in authoring five books based upon his research with thousands of kids. This led to holding hundreds of seminars for parents. At these events parents saw Jeff’s love for kids and parents leading to them pleading with him to help their struggling kids. Soon Jeff was seeing kids facing issues as serious as rage, suicidal thoughts and self-harm turn around in as little as 6 months. He loves helping kids more than anything, but found that helping parents was vital to seeing kids thrive, succeed and make good decisions today and in their future. He used everything he teaches with his own kids first and saw amazing results. Jeff is positive and caring as he helps parents adopt counterculture methods that cause kids to want to follow and listen to their parents rather than have to or else! Jeff has served as the Vice President, President or CEO of three different companies and possesses a masters degree in leadership.
Meet CoachHeston Glenn Family and Healing Coach
Heston and his wife Celeste had been seeking answers for almost 10 years when they found Jeff Schadt. Facing issues with their own kids, including symptoms of depression, anxiety, OCD, ODD and precursors to self-harm, they were desperate. In mere months working with Jeff in Leading with Love coaching delivered their family from all this and so much more. Six months into their journey, Jeff saw Heston's skills and background in business consulting and psychology, along with the changes they were seeing in their home with their own kids, and invited them to be trained as One Rule Home coaches. Given the years of searching for answers and the shocking changes they were seeing with their kids they accepted completing training to become Leading with Love coach. Jeff, Heston and Celeste talk almost daily about the kids and families they are helping. Heston and Celeste’s kindness and care are noted by everyone they work with. Heston wanted to have the relationship with his kids that he hadn’t been able to have as a kid, but he didn’t know how to be a good dad. He vacillated between being highly relational and highly rules focused confusing his children.
Meet CoachCeleste Glenn Coach-in-Training
When Celeste, along with her husband Heston, found One Rule Home, she was desperate for transformative solutions to the growing number of issues she faced with her own kids, including symptoms of depression, anxiety, OCD, ODD and precursors to self-harm. She battled with feeling like a failure as a mom and couldn’t see a way out. With the Leading with Love coaching, Celeste saw great improvements in her connection with each of her 5 kids, as well as being equipped to handle the underlying issues that were causing her kids to fall apart. Today, her oldest is developing healthy hobbies and facing school with much more confidence. Her other 4 kids are improving in making healthy friendships, setting goals, and are overall happier with life. Celeste continues to navigate the ins-and-outs of shepherding her own 5 kids (from ages 4 to 14 in 2024), but now with the evidence that conflict can be resolved successfully, and that she has significant influence on their choices and hearts.
Jeff saw Celeste’s heart and desire to help other parents experience what she had and invited her to be trained as a One Rule Home coach. Given the years of searching for answers and the shocking changes she was seeing with her kids, she accepted training to become Leading with Love coach. Jeff, Heston and Celeste talk almost daily about the kids and families they are helping. Celeste’s kindness and care are noted by everyone she works with.
Meet CoachLives Changed
What if the frustrations you’re dealing with aren’t your fault?
What if our problems with our kids are actually due to a faulty approach to parenting that has been around so long that we can’t even question it anymore?
Consider this: While science, education, medicine, nutrition….. just about everything has made radical advancements over the last 200 hundred years, parenting advice and approaches have only made minor shifts!
Jeff and Media Who am I
I’m a dad who had a struggling nine-year-old daughter. I found that the things I was reading and listening to were not working. So I spent 20 years conducting qualitative research with over 3,000 kids to crack the code! What I found changed everything with my nine year old who was defensive, argumentative, and would not admit anything without a lengthy battle. Even better, it worked with all four of my very different kids.
On this journey, I secured a master’s in Leadership as well as theology, and parents call me “the kid whisperer.” Get to know me better by listening to my interviews.
Featured On
What if there actually is a better way to parent your child? A way that targets the roots underneath, draws them closer to you, gets them to open up, and motivates them to change on their own? What if there was a way to parent that actually led to genuine change?
The Answer
On this journey, I discovered what’s really causing our kid’s bad behavior, and it’s not what we have been taught to believe: their attitude, defiance, disrespect, or temptations.
It’s much deeper than these things.
Below our kid’s frustrating behaviors, there are roots that must be addressed for lasting change to occur. Today a majority of parenting experts tell us to “chop the top off the weed” (the bad behavior and decisions we see) with pressure, expectations, lectures, boundaries, or consequences. What happens when we do? Conflict!
And often the weed comes back. We may gain compliance, but at what cost? Peace, our close connection with our kids, and the true influence we had in our kid’s lives.
Why as parents have we not been told or taught to address the roots below our kid’s frustrating behavior, motivation issues, and struggles?
This is where we can help.
Schedule a call and you will receive ‘What’s Really Causing My Kids Bad Behavior?’ free.
Read the first two chapters now to see why scheduling a call and getting this book will help you understand what’s going on beneath the surface with your kid, and how to create lasting change in your kid’s life.
Learning how to get below the surface with your kid and target the roots makes such a difference!
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