Concerned About Your Kid?

It's a terrible feeling to be disrespected by a child you love! You lay down your life for them everyday, but you're met with eye rolls, back talk, the silent treatment, or worse. It's natural to wonder if there is any hope, when you're at odds with our kids like this, and what you're doing doesn't seem to work. Plus, if they're like this at age 7, 9, or 11, what will they be like then they are 13?

There is hope given the answers we discovered during our research. We found that disrespect typically stems from roots that are often below our kid's conciousness.

How can that be? Well, psychology has proven that only 5% of thoughts and emotions are conscious. So, often even our kids themselves don't truly understand the roots that are underneath their disrespectful behavior.

And what did our research show these common roots are?

• Unresolved issues in the the relationship that they have never brought up and have stuffed down.
• This generation of kids' need for community, connection, and fairness.
• Negative core beliefs that make them sensitive / reactive to the way we interact with them.
• A misunderstanding of the nature of respect itself that has permeated the whole family.

The answer lies in what we found when we integrated our research with 3,000 kids with psychological studies and with the leadership style of Jesus - a leadership style that was radically different to that which you see in the world. This has led to us developing a new way to approach and lead our kids that results in kids actually wanting to involve you in their lives.

If you'd like to learn how to target the roots underneath your kids' behavior consider our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort. Then schedule a call* with myself, Jeff Schadt, or another coach to get answers to your questions about your situation and how working with a leading with love coach will help you connect with your kids at a deeper level and enable you to target the roots of your kids challenges in a manner that leads to genuine change.

(* We charge a nominal $10 for this introduction call, but you can get it for free if you take our One Rule Home Child Concern Index assessment first.)

If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call now.

When our kids react with anger or tears, it hurts. We care for them and love them more than they know, but they don't seem to believe us anymore. Outbursts destroy happy homes as we isolate ourselves to avoid the pain conflict brings. If you're dealing with outright anger, angry or despondent tears and are losing hope, don't give up!

Our research found that these outcomes stem from three sources not often discussed in parenting circles:

• Unresolved issues and hurt
• Negative core beliefs
• Fight or flight responses

The good news is these issues that cause our kids to react and break down are entirely fixable.

According to studies, only 5% of our kid's thoughts and emotions are conscious, so it's likely your kid's outbursts are being driven by those 95% of thoughts and emotions that are unconscious - thoughts and emotions that lead our kids to get frustrated with themselves, because they cannot figure out what's going on either.

As parents, we haven't been equipped to help our kids target the issues that underlie their bad behavior and struggles. But, if you're looking for answers that work, you're in the right place. Please explore our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort that equips parents to target the issues underlying their kid's troubling outbursts. What you learn will change how you see your kids, as well as giving you the insights and ability to help your child.

To discover if the Leading With Love Coaching Cohort will work for your situation, take our free Child Concern Index (CCI). Upon completion you'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation, including guidance on your next steps.

Then schedule a call to get your questions about joining a Leading with Love Coaching Cohort answered along with an understanding of how it will help you connect with your child at a deeper level and empower you to target the roots to see deep internal change in your child.

(We charge a nominal $10 for this introduction call, but you can get it for free if you take our One Rule Home Child Concern Index assessment first.)

If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.

Nothing concerns us more than when our kids begin to lie and hide things from us. We ask questions of ourselves like:

• Am I doing something wrong?
• Why won't he or she be honest with me?
• Why aren't they learning from their mistakes?
• What else are they hiding?

Sadly we found this is far more common than we expected. Our research revealed that 70% to 90% of kids ages 9 and up lead some form of "hidden" or "dual" life. What we mean is this - they knew what to do and say to keep their parents happy, but had figured out that if they could keep their real thoughts, actions, or mistakes hidden from their parents, they would avoid the negative fallout that would otherwise occur.

Why was avoiding this fallout so important that it caused them to lie? Our research discovered something surprising: kids want to please and feel close to their parents like they did when they were younger.

This desire for a close relationship with their parents was so strong that it led many to hide things and lie. Why? They so desperately wanted their parents to be happy with them they felt compelled to hide things and lie to try to get back into a close relationship again. Ironically, their need for us and dependence upon us (along with an often hidden desire to please us) were much stronger than the kids or the parents in our research would believe given the issues they were having.

This is just one of many reasons why changing how we approach kids and their shortcomings is vital if we want them to remain close and be open and honest with us. So, if you sense your kid is growing more distant and you feel like you're losing influence in their lives (or your kids are younger and want to avoid these problems before they start), check out our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort.

To discover if the Leading With Love Coaching Cohort will work for your situation, take our Child Concern Index (CCI). Upon completion you'll receive a detailed CCI report and recommendation unique to your situation, with guidance on next steps.

Then schedule a call to get your questions about joining a Leading with Love Coaching Cohort answered along with an understanding of how it will help you connect with your child at a deeper level and empower you to target the roots to see deep internal change in your child.

(We charge a nominal $10 for this introduction call, but you can get it for free if you take our One Rule Home Child Concern Index assessment first.)

If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.

You love your kids so much, you dearly want to help them succeed. So, when they struggle with motivation and follow through, it's difficult to know what to do. The more we remind them and apply pressure the more they resist us and our attempts to help leading to frustration and concerning behavior.

You know your kid has the ability - but they either won't or they aren't able to put in the effort to actually accomplish what you know they're capable of. The thing is, pressure related to homework, studying, and grades often leads to avoidance, defensiveness, or conflict - and our research found that this is what demotivates our kids.

Our work with kids who have motivation issues found that their lack of effort often stemmed from three underlying sources that work together to damage their potential. When these things combine, it can lead to depression.

1. The realities of the oppositional adolescent brain
2. Negative core beliefs the child holds deep down inside
3. Depression

Changes that occur in the adolescent brain result in an oppositional response pattern. These may seem disrespectful or rebellious, but they're not deliberate, or the child's fault. Understanding these changes and then adjusting our tactics can make a world of difference and help them learn to adapt to this change they have probably been unaware of as well.

Negative core beliefs rob our kids of confidence. They often lead to resignation and a tricky, unconscious decision not to even try. Counterintuitively, by not trying, they avoid feelings of not being good enough and being a failure. The logic is simple: “If I don't try it and I fail, then it doesn't reflect negatively on me … because I didn't actually try!” Kids we work with are often stunned to realize they have made such a counterproductive decision - and have done so completely unconsciously!

Now, depression is hard to understand if you haven’t experienced it. As parents, our natural response is to remind, nag, or pressure, but our research shows this makes things worse. The reason is actually quite simple: the root cause of depression is being unhappy with or angry at oneself. Parents reminding, nagging, and piling on pressure has one result – it makes them even more negative about themselves.

These are the reasons we need to target the unconscious roots underneath these annoying behaviors. Addressing these issues requires looking beyond our kid’s frustrating lack of effort to determine the internal reasons they have given up and turned to other escapes to validate themselves – rather than getting the work done that will help them succeed.

As parents, we haven’t been trained to target the roots that underpin our kids’ behavior and struggles. We at One Rule Home are here to help. Please explore our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort to better understand what is going on within your child and the ways we can help you be the answer to your kid's motivation issues.

To discover if the Leading With Love Coaching Cohort will work for your situation, take our Child Concern Index (CCI). Upon completion you'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation, with guidance on next steps.

Then schedule a call to get your questions about joining a Leading with Love Coaching Cohort answered along with an understanding of how it will help you connect with your child at a deeper level and empower you to target the roots to see deep internal change in your child.

(We charge a nominal $10 for this introduction call, but you can get it for free if you take our One Rule Home Child Concern Index assessment first.)

If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.

Nothing will destroy our enjoyment in our family more than being stuck between kids who just can’t get along. It can cause a sense of dread every day as we just wait for something to go wrong:

• Endless bickering
• Negative comments that lead to reactions
• Getting physical with each other

There are tools we teach to address sibling conflict that will make a real difference – but they don’t fix the underlying problem. The real problem stems from a breakdown of relationship, trust, and the sense of belonging siblings should have.

Our research and work with thousands of families has helped us identify the common roots that lie underneath our kids' disdain for each other. Understanding what’s happening below the surface is essential to restoring the relationship, trust, and care between your kids.

Some of these issues are:

• Perceived favoritism
• Negative core beliefs
• Unresolved issues in the relationship
• Fight-or-flight regulation issues

To understand how to best address sibling conflict, take our free Child Concern Index (CCI). You'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation, that will have recommendations on your next steps given your situation's seriousness.

You will also want to explore our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort as well because 75% of parents who participate are able to enjoy their kids again and see their kids’ behavior turn around without the need of a counselor.

Then schedule a call to get your questions about joining a Leading with Love Coaching Cohort answered along with an understanding of how it will help you connect with your child at a deeper level and empower you to target the roots to see deep internal change in your child.

(We charge a nominal $10 for this introduction call, but you can get it for free if you take our One Rule Home Child Concern Index assessment first.)

If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.

As parents, we’re really not equipped to help a child struggling with depression. Despite all our love, care, and concern, it feels like everything we try to do seems to discourage or frustrate our kids more and just make things worse.

If this is where you find yourself, you’re not alone – and it’s not your fault. In fact, a recent CDC study found that 2 out of 3 adolescent girls and 2 out of 5 boys struggled with deep sadness/depression.

Unless you have personally struggled with and overcome depression, it’s unrealistic to expect that you’ll be able to understand and help your child all on your own. Here at One Rule Home, we are intimately familiar with depression, having faced it and overcome it in ourselves and our children. We really do understand how depression creates significant challenges for parents.

You see, the root cause of depression (beyond the serotonin imbalance in the brain) is being deeply unhappy or angry with oneself. Interestingly, the most effective tools to help your child are often the exact opposite of your natural instincts. But while your child may seem to resist everything you bring to them, this usually does not mean they are dismissing you, or their own responsibilities. Often it means they are down on themselves for falling short. Can you see your kid's frustration, unhappiness, or anger with themselves?

To understand how to best address depression in your children, take our Child Concern Index (CCI). On completion you'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation, with recommendations on next steps depending on your situation's seriousness. Also explore our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort because 75% of parents who participate are able to enjoy their kids again and see their kids behavior turn around without the need of a counselor.

Then schedule a call to get your questions about joining a Leading with Love Coaching Cohort answered along with an understanding of how it will help you connect with your child at a deeper level and empower you to target the roots to see deep internal change in your child.

(We charge a nominal $10 for this introduction call, but you can get it for free if you take our One Rule Home Child Concern Index assessment first.)

If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.

Sometimes the fears, anxiety, and / or phobias our kids have just don't make sense to us. This can lead us to say the wrong things, only exacerbating the situation. We love our kids and want to help them, but how? We see the challenges, the anxiety, and the attention issues in our kids’ lives and want to help so much, but then the behavior that often goes along with these issues is so hard to handle.

At its core, anxiety is fear. It’s often driven by unconscious thoughts and feelings deep within our kids – that’s why it’s so hard to address. Then there are other factors that contribute to anxiety as well. Things like fight-or-flight, regulation issues, and / or negative core beliefs. These cause deep internal self-doubt and that, in turn, leads to anxiety.

Parents can be the answer to their kids’ anxiety and attention issues – but they need a different set of tools and approaches. If your kid suffers from Anxiety, ADD, or ADHD, it’s important to realize that the symptoms of these things are virtually identical to those of fight or flight, or nervous system regulation issues. If regulation issues are at the root of these behaviors, there are ways for your kid to recover and heal that aren’t dependent on medication (with the short- and long-term side effects these medications cause.)

If you would like to understand how to best address issues like ADD, ADHD, and anxiety, start by taking our Child Concern Index (CCI) (Link to CCI). When you complete it, you'll receive a detailed CCI report unique to your situation, along with recommendations on next steps depending on your situation's seriousness. Also explore our Leading With Love Coaching Cohort (link to coaching page) because 75% of parents who participate are able to enjoy their kids again and see their kids behavior turn around without the need of a counselor.

Then schedule a call (Link to coach selection page) to get your questions about joining a Leading with Love Coaching Cohort answered along with an understanding of how it will help you connect with your child at a deeper level and empower you to target the roots to see deep internal change in your child.

(We charge a nominal $10 for this introduction call, but you can get it for free if you take our One Rule Home Child Concern Index assessment first.)

If you feel your situation is particularly urgent, schedule a call here.