Before finding One Rule Home, I explored the Gentle Parenting movement a little and found a helpful mindset that helped prepare me to desire the change in our family that Leading with Love has made possible. There are some foundational principles in Gentle parenting that I can embrace as a much needed change from traditional parenting, such as becoming a safe place for our children, learning to emphasize with them and get to the roots of their behavior, and helping our kids regulate their emotions. Their focus on emotional training instead of consequences is moving in the right direction, however this wasn’t enough for my family, especially with kids who hadn’t grown up with gentle parenting and had trouble trusting us as parents to want to dig into what was really causing their behavior issues.
We needed to really understand the unconditional love that Jesus gives, and the multi-faceted ways that he leads by appealing to internal desire through deep questions, and how love works as a boundary to motivate our kids. Gentle parenting provides tips on how to stay calm, but I needed heart-level change for myself to really begin to remove my triggers, and One Rule Home and Revive Family didn’t just tell me that I needed to do that but showed me how. What I have learned goes much deeper than gentle parenting ever did, and showed me how to teach and train my kids in ways that meant they are willing to have open and honest conversations with me about their fears and struggles.
Nor does gentle parenting really seem to address the changes that come about when our kids reach adolescence. One Rule Home has especially helped me to reconnect with my preteens and teenagers, and help them navigate the changes in motivation, emotional regulation, and long-term thinking that come with that stage of life. Much of gentle parenting advice is aimed at parenting young children, and because of this it seems focused on one-way communication rather than giving kids responsibility for their own decisions, which is so necessary for kids older than age six.
We found that gentleness was definitely needed but also fierce love that protects when needed. One Rule Home helped us change the culture in our home, even amidst intense struggles that were largely created by how we had been parenting in the past. During the implementation stage, we learned how to speak to our kids’ hearts to help them buy into the One Rule of “Love One Another” with specific conversations where they really shared what they wanted the family to look like.
No parenting method can account for every situation on its own, which is why I found the material on learning to work with the Holy Spirit and allowing him to guide me and convict my kids so vital. This is one of the most important things I learned about Leading with Love, and I hope that you will continue on this journey of learning no matter what your faith is.
