And found by age 9, my oldest would avoid taking responsibility for everything.

So I ratcheted up the pressure and consequences, only to find she grew hard, frustrated and distant.

That’s why I went and talked with 3,000 kids, and discovered I was wrong!

After 18 months of research I took what the kids told me to my children, and asked, do you see me like these other kids see their parents?

The answer was, “Heck yeah!”

The Holy Spirit Convicted me that I looked nothing like Jesus to my kids.

So what’s the answer?

It’s rooted in what we see our role as parents to be.

Are we monitors, protectors, and disciplinarians?

Or are we shepherds that mentor, coach and teach?

Why must we be shepherds?

1. Only 5% of thoughts and emotions are conscious.

When we face bad behaviors that aren’t changed by parental frustration, lectures or consequences, it’s a sure sign that the issues stem from the 95% of unconscious thoughts and emotions in our kids.

2. Changes in the adolescent brain render consequences worthless

Much of the adolescent children’s (ages 8 to 24) frustrating habits stem from changes in the adolescent brain.

Missing this leads to increasing conflict, and loss of connection with our kids.

3. Negative Core Beliefs lead to defensiveness, demotivation and depression!

Parental frustration, lectures and consequences expand our kids negative core beliefs

Leading to growing frustration, distance and conflict with our kids.

These are just a few of the many reasons we need a different way.

One that builds a deep relationship with our kids

that gives us access to address their unconscious thoughts and feelings, the changes in their adolescent brain, and their negative core beliefs that drive bad behavior.

What I learned from the research, reading the Bible and psychological studies changed everything with my child and it will change yours.

As I changed my approach, my daughters defensiveness, disrespect and defiance vanished into thin air.

• Her desire to listen and involve me in her life returned.
• Her grades went up.
• Her happiness returned

Making our house peaceful once again.

Are you brave enough to question our “age-old wisdom?”

“Spare the rod, spoil the child?”

I look forward to telling you about the One Rule that will change your family and answering your questions on April 22nd.

Journeying with you,

Jeff Schadt

PS – I wish my research had shown something different!

I was a really good “rules and consequences” parent.

But the truth is, we are losing our kids because of how we’ve been trained to parent. I hope you’ll join me so that your kids don’t become a statistic.